Cutting Your Professional Throat

Cutting Your Professional Throat

Cutting Your Professional Throat isn’t science, it is art. Erin L. Fraser, Esq. of Hanson Bridgett LLP  should add a Ph.D. in the subject to his resume.

Cutting Your Professional Throat

We had posted a rather innocuous comment, and another commentator mentioned the same point and scolded Mr. Fraser.

Cutting Your Professional Throat







Mr. Fraser has an NYU LLM in Taxation. One would think that anyone with that level of education would have taken the “Common Sense 101” course. The common sense course is usually the best way we know of to cure “Shit for Brains”.

The article itself notes that Mr. Rettig had already discussed the property in detail with members of the Senate Finance Committee. The memo to committee members was signed by Senate Finance Chairman Orrin Hatch, a Utah Republican, and the committee’s top Democrat, Ron Wyden of Oregon. It said committee staff raised the issue at a June 21 “due diligence meeting” and that Rettig plans to provide more details, including the full name of the property.

Julia Lawless, a spokeswoman for committee Republicans, said in an email late Wednesday that Rettig “has moved through the Finance Committee’s bipartisan vetting process in good faith, providing accurate information regarding his personal finances and other matters.”

She added that Rettig bought the properties “more than 10 years ago” and they were “disclosed and vetted in a customary way.” Members would be able “to get further clarity on this fact” during Thursday’s hearing, she added.

Rettig would be the first practicing tax lawyer to lead the IRS in two decades — a departure from prior commissioners who held high-level posts at private companies and regulatory agencies. He’d go from running a law firm with 12 attorneys to a perennially despised and underfunded bureaucracy with nearly 77,000 employees.

All of which leads us to wonder if Hanson Bridgett make the right choice in hiring Mr. Fraser, an attorney with excellent tax technical skills, at least on paper, but PISS POOR PROFESSIONAL JUDGEMENT. We can’t begin to understand why an associate with a major law firm would turn a rather bland article into “fake news” about the next IRS Commissioner. However, it makes him about as attractive to other employers as a mixture of horse manure and radioactive waste. 

Cletus Smelly Dental Floss Adventure

Cletus Smelly Dental Floss Adventure

Cletus Smelly Dental Floss Adventure documents Cletus making life miserable for a bunch of Chinese neighbors…by blindfolding them with DENTAL FLOSS.

Cletus Smelly Dental Floss Adventure

which took place the same day he discovered hemp.


Cletus Smelly Dental Floss Adventure

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney??

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney??

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney??
Cletus eating a rat for dinner?

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney


…we all shuddered at the thought of Cletus Smelley as a cesspool of jurisprudence. This is the dude that almost gave himself an ulcer studying for a urine test. Then the Slack-Jawed Yokel started dropping hints. the first one was…

“Pending the transcripts that I sent this morning, I have been accepted to the most prestigious law school in California. They sought me out, and classes begin April 9.”

Then we got:

“I was accepted to the best Law School in CA. I mulled it over, and today decided to go.”

We started thinking, Nah…impossible, well let’s give Cletus the benefit of the doubt.., could you imagine…hmm…best law school in California…? Berkley, Stanford, UCLA, USC

The best law schools in California [starting the highest rated]

  1. The University of California, Berkeley School of Law
  2. Stanford Law School
  3. The University of California at Los Angeles School of Law
  4. University of Southern California Gould School of Law

There is a comprehensive list at the bottom of this page.

Source: Above The Law BlogSlack-Jawed Yokel Attorney??

So what law school would accept a Slack-jawed Yokel…then an epiphany….Taft Law School, 19th out of 20 in California and on the list of TEN WORST LAW SCHOOLS in the United States…once again, Cletus Smelly disrespects himself…he has no self-esteem at all, and once you get to know him, you will agree he is right to view himself as an abysmal failure. So what do we know about his “prestigious school” that wanted him?

The average student here flunked out of dog groomer school

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney


Interesting side-note: Taft runs an unaccredited correspondence law school, though its law school is evidently not involved in the particular educational product it is offering to law grads.

The signer, Taft President Jerome Alley, can be confident that few recent Cal Western grads are satisfied that their professional goals are being met, what with Cal Western’s astonishing 31% bar-required job placement rate plus the fourth highest median per-student debt load of any law school in the country.

To recap. A bottom-tier law school takes three years of your life, plus your borrowed fortune fails to teach you how to practice law and leaves you to flounder.

In California, grads of unaccredited law schools can sit for the bar, but only if they first take and pass a so-called “Baby Bar” after their first year of law school. In its most recent administration,  only 11% (4/ 38) of Taft law students passed the Baby Bar. For Taft law students taking the first-year exam for the first time, the passage rate was 6% (1/16). Yes, Taft is a school with a lot of worthwhile legal instruction to offer. But, he could have gone lower but he didn’t…we think that is his way of having something to strive for.

The absolute worst BOTTOM OF THE BARREL law school in California is:

Thomas Jefferson –  147/144/142.  In January, TJ was found out of compliance by the ABA on Standard 501.   TJ dishonestly kept this secret from its prospective students, enabling the school to grow its enrollment.  But this school is digging itself is an ever deeper hole by admitting a pathetically weak class in a state where students with LSATs below 146 have extremely poor prospects of passing the bar, and everybody below 150 struggles.   Last year TJ had 232 students with a profile of 147/143/141, and the second highest non-transfer attrition rate in the country at 37.2%.  Despite knowing they were facing sanctions due in part to its lax admission policies, TJ chose to increase its class size and essentially maintain its abysmal admissions standards.  The one point increase at the 50th and 25th percentiles were offset by lower UGPAs across the board.  Not surprisingly, TJ was recently placed on probation by the ABA.  Expect droves of transfers from TJ this winter and next summer, and continued bar passage woes for the foreseeable future, assuming TJ can stay in business.

Comprehensive Listing of California Law Schools

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney??

Slack-Jawed Yokel Attorney

Slack-Jawed Yokel Favorites

Slack-Jawed Yokel Favorites

Slack-Jawed Yokel Favorites are posts from Jordan S. Zoot, CPA which Slack-Jawed Yokel Favoriteshighlight the absurdity and ignorance of Slack-Jawed Yoken and other white trash.



The following is a summary of our Smelly, EA Interview – You May Barf.

Us: So Smelly EA, what would you like us to know about you?

Smelly EA - Rumination-Blather-Prattle
I’m Smelly, EA

Smelly, EA: First of all, I am semi-famous.  I see you play around with cannabis in California.  I’m living in my ass, and have more cannabis clients in California then you could ever hope to have. However, I don’t fight fire with fire.  Why sink to someone’s level who is obviously jealous of my success?

Us: How would you describe yourself to someone who has never met you?

Smelly, EA: However, I am high-strung, and I don’t like being drugged down to a level where I slow down and feel stupid. [Comment: Take away – “High Strung, Slow and Stupid”] Smelly, EA Interview – You May Barf

Smelly, EA: When we are engaged by a new cannabis client, we charge a consulting fee, and have to travel to the locationwhere that client is, for which we are reimbursed. We spend about three to four days at the new client’s location to set all of this up, then monitor it from a cloud-based accounting software. As I said one slip up, and the whole thing can be torn down by the IRS. Then we visit, for a fee, and all expenses paid, at least once a year to make sure that everything is running right.

Us: So that means that you and your firm with the California Secretary of State as a foreign entity, right? Both you are your entity for and paying California state taxes on the income you earn in California, when you are physically in California, right? Your clients are following the law with respect to withholding on the non-resident contractor, correct? You wouldn’t want violate the law by evading California state taxes.

Smelly, EA: Most owners are packing guns and will remind you of that several times. Unless you are well-known, they will test you over and over. If you fail any test, then there is an unspoken rule that you could be killed.

Us: Are you aware of Wilson v. Lynch, 14-15700, August 31.2016 where the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit held that federal law prohibits registered medical marijuana users from legally purchasing guns.

Us: So what got those panties with skid marks on the outside in a knot today?

Smelly, EA: BTW, I don’t pay attorney fees, so this can go on and on, and cost you so much money that your business will fold.  We will sue your company, and the principles of the business, jointly and severally. [Comment: That would be principals, and any 4th grader knows that.]

Us: So Smelly, EA what made you so emotionally brittle and small-minded, and always trying to use bluster and posturing to make up for all of the deficiencies in your personality, intellect, and presence?

Smelly, EA: You know nothing about me.  I grew up as the only white family in the worst ghetto in the World of Trailer Trash.  I have had to fight my whole life.  This fight is no big deal, and I will win it, come out better than ever, and you and your firm.  That is a promise.

Us: Hey Smelly, EA, there is an odoriferous. fetid, putrid, rancid, insalubrious, noxious stench emanating from your mouth. It is difficult to describe, it’s a combination of sewer gas, the necrotizing carcass of a pig, and skunk, worse than anything that ever came out of 1000

Smelly EA - Rumination-Blather-Prattle
Liquid Ass

bungholes. It is almost as if you used Amorphophallus Titanum to create a mouthwash. It is as if I could close my eyes and see Calliphoridae larvae gushing out of your mouth.

Smelly, EA: That’s just me, it is as if I had gargled with Liquid Ass.

Smelly EA - Rumination-Blather-Prattle
Fresh Drop – Toilet Freshener

The only way to mask it is a homemade mouthwash that I invented using Fresh Drop Toilet Freshener.

Us: So Smelly, EA can you tell us how does Stinky, EA manage to tolerate a mentally defective sociopath like you?

Smelly, EA: Simple I married Stinky, EA.

Smelly, EA Interview – You May Barf – read more here.

Axe Jackeline Velez

Axe Jackeline Velez

Axe Jackeline Velez about how to get someone killed celebrating the end of Tax Season…throwing an ax at them could be the best way to that we have ever heard of.

Axe Jackeline Velez

Ms. Jackeline Velez…

…I am sorry, but ANY time someone advocates wreckless stunt that literally crosses the line from grossly negligent and STUPID to POTENTIALLY LETHAL and demonstrative of DEPRAVED INDIFFERENCE TO HUMAN LIFE I am going to tag it, call it out and do everything and anything I can to prevent a horrible injury or the death of another human being.

The idea that “stress relief” or “fun” would include throwing a potentially deadly weapon such as an ax at another human being is twisted and sick.

Don’t remember what I am talking about, what’s this:

Axe Jackeline Velez

Would it be a bad thing if a Xero Accounting Partner would up on the floor in a pool of blood, DEAD or with his or her head split open because someone followed your suggestion and split their skull open with an ax? The conduct in the photo is beyond STUPID it is outright reckless. Worse yet, the event appears to have been expressly approved by Xero at the corporate level. Here is the event registration for the event that appeared on Eventbrite for Dallas.

Axe Jackeline Velez
Xero’s Dallas Axe Throwing Event

Xero’s Houston Axe Event

Axe Jackeline Velez

and the event in Austin

Axe Jackeline Velez
Xero’s Axe Throwing Event In Austin

We decided to try an experiment so we asked the owners of Eventbrite, and the three Axe Throwing venues in Dallas, Houston, and Austin if they would have permitted this ad to run with Jackieline Velez’s photo:

Axe Jackeline Velez
JackyYacky Axe Throwing

We will amend this page to add the responses that we receive from any of the venues or Eventbrite.

Our view is that the photo of wantonly, grossly negligent conduct representing depraved indifference to human life tells us a lot about Ms. Velez’s judgment, and indirectly about Xero’s judgment with respect to hiring and employment policies. We wonder what’s next, perhaps a Russian Roulette tournament, with semi-automatic pistols.

Let’s all welcome Jackeline Velez to SmellyStinkyEA with a special award for inventing a way to get someone killed celebrating the end of tax season, with special mention to Xero for supporting it.

Smelly Stinky Home

Slack-Jawed Yokel – Crypto FBAR

Slack-Jawed Yokel – Crypto FBAR

Slack-Jawed Yokel – Crypto FBAR – has managed to defy the odds and massively DISRESPECT HIMSELF YET AGAIN. A recent post on CPA Practice Advisor. The post is poorly written and manages to try to discuss FBAR while failing to grasp the implications of “US persons being taxed on worldwide income” with an obligation to report worldwide income as well as the existence of FATCA. Then the post fails to understand many of the underpinnings of cryptocurrency. It becomes obvious that Cletus is an abysmal failure with cannabis and cryptocurrency…perhaps he should try something less exotic, like almond trees.

Anyway, here are our comments that you help the post.

Slack-Jawed Yokel - Crypto FBAR disrespects himself again
Slack-Jawed Yokel – Crypto FBAR disrespects himself again

Slack-Jawed Yokel – Crypto FBAR disrespects himself again

Comments in an easier to read format:

1: Stupid…you focus on FBAR, what about FATCA? FATCA requires certain U.S. taxpayers who hold foreign financial assets with an aggregate value of more than the reporting threshold (at least $50,000) to report information about those assets on Form 8938, which must be attached to the taxpayer’s annual income tax return. The reporting threshold is higher for certain individuals, including married taxpayers filing a joint annual income tax return and certain taxpayers living in a foreign country (see below).

2.: Spell it out cryptocurrency – a digital currency in which encryption techniques are used to regulate the generation of units of currency and verify the transfer of funds, operating independently of a central bank. … [2]

3: 1.Under IRC Secs. 7609 (c)(3) and 7609 (f), a John Doe summons is a summons that does not identify the person with respect to whose liability the summons is issued. The Internal Revenue Code authorizes the Service to issue a John Doe summons pursuant to..a. n[3]

4: The U.S. government imposes the income tax on U.S. persons based on their worldwide income. The following are considered to be a U.S. person for tax purposes:•A citizen born in the United States or outside with at least one parent who is a U.S. citizen     … [4]

5. : Once again, the issue is a stupid one as even if the FBAR filing isn’t required, that doesn’t change the fact that any income earned by a US person is still subject to tax…so not filing the FBAR does nothing to remove the obligation to file and report the income.

6: In 2014, Rod Lundquist, a senior program analyst for the Small Business/Self-Employed Division indicated that the IRS would not require Bitcoin to be reported as part of FBAR. He elaborated by adding that that “FinCEN has said that virtual currency is not going to be reportable on the FBAR, at least..f.o[r5]

7: taxpayers could align their handling of Bitcoin to comport with that of gold, hard currency and real estate. That is, these assets are generally not reportable for foreign account purposes when held directly, but become reportable when they are stored in a foreign financial account. Under this… [6]

8: What about private blockchain, stupid? A private blockchain network requires an invitation and must be validated by either the network starter or by a set of rules put in place by the network starter. Businesses who set up a private blockchain will generally set up a permissioned network.

9: Perhaps you might learn how to write a definition liks – A Bitcoin wallet is a software program where Bitcoins are stored. To be technically accurate, Bitcoins are not stored anywhere; there is a private key (secret number) for every Bitcoin address.

Smelly EA Home