Slack-Jawed Yokel Favorites
Slack-Jawed Yokel Favorites are posts from Jordan S. Zoot, CPA which highlight the absurdity and ignorance of Slack-Jawed Yoken and other white trash.
SMELLY, EA INTERVIEW – YOU MAY BARF
The following is a summary of our Smelly, EA Interview – You May Barf.
Us: So Smelly EA, what would you like us to know about you?
Smelly, EA: First of all, I am semi-famous. I see you play around with cannabis in California. I’m living in my ass, and have more cannabis clients in California then you could ever hope to have. However, I don’t fight fire with fire. Why sink to someone’s level who is obviously jealous of my success?
Us: How would you describe yourself to someone who has never met you?
Smelly, EA: However, I am high-strung, and I don’t like being drugged down to a level where I slow down and feel stupid. [Comment: Take away – “High Strung, Slow and Stupid”] Smelly, EA Interview – You May Barf
Smelly, EA: When we are engaged by a new cannabis client, we charge a consulting fee, and have to travel to the locationwhere that client is, for which we are reimbursed. We spend about three to four days at the new client’s location to set all of this up, then monitor it from a cloud-based accounting software. As I said one slip up, and the whole thing can be torn down by the IRS. Then we visit, for a fee, and all expenses paid, at least once a year to make sure that everything is running right.
Us: So that means that you and your firm with the California Secretary of State as a foreign entity, right? Both you are your entity for and paying California state taxes on the income you earn in California, when you are physically in California, right? Your clients are following the law with respect to withholding on the non-resident contractor, correct? You wouldn’t want violate the law by evading California state taxes.
Smelly, EA: Most owners are packing guns and will remind you of that several times. Unless you are well-known, they will test you over and over. If you fail any test, then there is an unspoken rule that you could be killed.
Us: Are you aware of Wilson v. Lynch, 14-15700, August 31.2016 where the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit held that federal law prohibits registered medical marijuana users from legally purchasing guns.
Us: So what got those panties with skid marks on the outside in a knot today?
Smelly, EA: BTW, I don’t pay attorney fees, so this can go on and on, and cost you so much money that your business will fold. We will sue your company, and the principles of the business, jointly and severally. [Comment: That would be principals, and any 4th grader knows that.]
Us: So Smelly, EA what made you so emotionally brittle and small-minded, and always trying to use bluster and posturing to make up for all of the deficiencies in your personality, intellect, and presence?
Smelly, EA: You know nothing about me. I grew up as the only white family in the worst ghetto in the World of Trailer Trash. I have had to fight my whole life. This fight is no big deal, and I will win it, come out better than ever, and you and your firm. That is a promise.
Us: Hey Smelly, EA, there is an odoriferous. fetid, putrid, rancid, insalubrious, noxious stench emanating from your mouth. It is difficult to describe, it’s a combination of sewer gas, the necrotizing carcass of a pig, and skunk, worse than anything that ever came out of 1000
bungholes. It is almost as if you used Amorphophallus Titanum to create a mouthwash. It is as if I could close my eyes and see Calliphoridae larvae gushing out of your mouth.
Smelly, EA: That’s just me, it is as if I had gargled with Liquid Ass.
The only way to mask it is a homemade mouthwash that I invented using Fresh Drop Toilet Freshener.
Us: So Smelly, EA can you tell us how does Stinky, EA manage to tolerate a mentally defective sociopath like you?
Smelly, EA: Simple I married Stinky, EA.
Smelly, EA Interview – You May Barf – read more here.