Smelly Family Partnership, LP
Smelly Family Partnership, LP is where the Smelly’s go for R&R.
You know you are a member of the Smelly Family if –
Your house moves but your twelve cars don’t.
-You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
-You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swYour boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
-You burn your yard rather than mow it.
-You think “The Nutcracker” is something you do off the high dive.
-The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
-You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don’t want it.
-You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
-You come back from the dump with more than you took.
– You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
– Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
– Your grandmother has “ammo” on her Christmas list.
-You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
-You’ve been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
– You go to the stock car races and don’t need a program.
-You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
-You have a rag for a gas cap.
-Your house doesn’t have curtains, but your truck does.
-You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
-You can spit without opening your mouth.
-You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
-Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
-You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say “Cool Whip” on the side.
-The biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.
-Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
-You’ve used your ironing board as a buffet table.
-A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
-You’ve used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
-You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
-You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.
-You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table . . . in front of her kids.
-You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
-You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on a different night.
-Jack Daniels makes your list of “most admired people.”
-You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
-Anyone in your family ever died right after saying: “Hey watch this.”
-You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
-Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
-Your junior prom had a daycare.
-You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are:
“Gentlemen start your engines.”
-You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
-The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.
-You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
-One of your kids was born on a pool table.
-You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
-You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
-You think “loaded dishwasher” means your wife is drunk.
-Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
-Your front porch collapses and kills more than five animals.
-At some point in your life you’ve been too drunk to fish.
-The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.