Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes

Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes

Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes
Smelly EA – Slack Jawed Yokel

Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes  – they say that the most grievous wounds are self-inflicted. We would have to agree…the following is a blog post that appeared in CPA Practice Advisor – What California Cannabis Businesses Need to Know About Taxes – – properly sourced so everyone can read the original. Our comments follow

 

CLETUS – THIS TIME YA DIDN’T BEAT US – SLACK JAWED YOKEL

It appears that ahrefs.com, one of the big time SEO web crawlers caught our reference to CDTFA and Federal Taxes for California Cannabis on smellystinkyea.com and put the reference under CDTFA in its alerts this morning which appear like this. It does pay to work hard on SEO…this one brings great joy over a holiday weekend.

Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes
Slack-Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes

 

 

Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes
Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes
Slack Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes
Slack-Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes

We thought about disrespecting the Slack-Jawed Yokel, but realized that he did a better job of disrespecting himself than we ever could have done.

Bonus – If it every comes up in trivia, SmellyEA’s first name is Cletus.

Slack-Jawed Yokel Explains California Cannabis Taxes

Summary of our comments on the original:

  1. It certainly gets old having to explain that there are NO minimum education or experience requirements to become an Enrolled Agent see – https://www.slideshare.net/abizinabox/americas-tax-experts-a-cruel-hoax
  2. The licenses in California are Retail, Distribution, Manufacturer, Cultivator, Testing Laboratory, Event Organizer, and Micro-Business
  3. Which helps to explain why three regulatory agencies, Bureau of Cannabis Control, California Dept. of Food and Agriculture – CalCannabis, and California Bureau of Public Health – Manufactured Cannabis Safety Board issue almost 400 pages of Emergency regulations which were just readopted. See https://abizinaboxcannabis.com/bcc-announces-comment-period-extended-emergency-regs/
  4. Fascinating that all you mention is Federal taxes with no mention of the CDTFA – Cannabis Cultivation and Cannabis Excise taxes which have an incredible complexity to all to themselves.
  5. “which doesn’t conform to Section 280E” is gibberish…makes no sense, how does one “conform” to IRC Sec. 280E
  6. “packager” is once again gibberish – the extraction of oil from the trim in California requires a Manufacturer License
  7. Once again nonsense – a Retail licensee might pay a Distributor to store cannabis in a depot type facility, but the notion of a Cultivator to store cannabis is outright IGNORANT.
  8. Which obviously means that your clients are properly either withholding California non-resident taxes if you invoice as a contractor or you are filing a California income tax return at both the entity and individual levels, or FTB might have some investigating to perform. See https://abizinaboxcannabis.com/california-cannabis-biz-check-consultants/
  9. Yet another ignorant comment, the Cole Memo has nothing to do with banking, you might want to read https://www.dorsey.com/newsresources/publications/client-alerts/2018/01/fincen-guidance-on-banking-marijuana
  10. You clearly don’t understand anything about Proposition 215 or physician recommendations or county issued medical cannabis cards in California – See https://abizinaboxcannabis.com/ca-medical-cannabis-card/
  11. Let’s educate you once again – all legally grown cannabis in California is subject to Cultivation Tax and Excise Tax. Adult-Use cannabis is subject to Sales Tax.
  12. Unless you plan on eating the trim itself Cletus, you failed to mention the extraction process.
  13. Wrong yet again, medical cannabis is subject to the cannabis Cultivation and Excise taxes.
  14. Jeff Sessions is the Attorney General not the Secretary of State.
  15. bit sic should probably be but
  16. More gibberish
  17. Might as well demonstrate racist traits for good measure.
  18. Did you really just admit to committing perjury about being a California resident to obtain a County Issued Medical cannabis card?
  19. Really…are you suggesting that anyone providing accounting or tax services to an entity in California is required to have some type of cannabis license. Can you cite the authority?
  20. Your anxiety is quite obvious and very real…you could easily be mistaken for a “tweaker”, we will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you aren’t a crystal meth addict.
  21. Just to clarify you purchased cannabis in California and somehow transported it to Florida?
  22. The term is alma mater is usually reserved for a college that you obtained a DEGREE rather than a CERTIFICATE from.
  23. [We are speculating here] Makes sense, you would do better with an antipsychotic such as Prolixin Decanoate – generic name – Fluphenazine Decanoate –  is a long-acting form of fluphenazine that is used to treat certain mental/mood problems (chronic schizophrenia)

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